It has come to my attention that my blog has really
attracted some new readers. To my
new “fans,” Welcome. From my
little bitty wee friends who never consume more calories than they can easily
run off on the treadmill to my amorphous blob-like buds, Welcome. I fall in the latter group and thus
relate more to them, but certainly, all are welcome to read.
For the skinny folk, I hope you will gain enlightenment as
to why we blob-like babes tend to be constantly making excuses OR on a new diet
(albeit one that maybe reaches the 20 lb loss point and yo-yos right back in
the wrong direction).
For my amorphous blob, enjoy. We curvier, rounded types should strive
to understand one another, right?
The idea for today’s blog comes from my most recent graduate
class entitled Directed Independent Study. (Let’s hope this is a series--unlike poor Foreman-- I’ll stick with, since a grade
depends upon it.) I found a
professor benevolent enough to guide me through this task, which is akin to a
thesis—for you real smart folk. I
am the sole student. In this
class, I have chosen to investigate a phenomenon I’ve noticed lately: a surge in obesity narratives in modern
texts (like chick-lit, television shows, film, etc.). Have YOU noticed the same surge I am seeing? It seems I can barely turn on the tube
without a show that wields some poor ole fat girl attempting to transform
herself into a shiny, flexing masterpiece. My favorite among this type is, of course, The Biggest Loser, but honorable mention
goes to A&E’s Heavy and The Style
Network’s Ruby. I’ve also begun reading a book entitled Such a Pretty Face by the author Cathy
Lamb.
There will be more to come, but I would like to include some
very general observations I’ve made about myself and other corpulent women
through analyzing these texts thus far.
I’m not sure where I will go with these in the end, but here is the
first observations with which I shall begin:
Rotund Retaliation:
I’m not sure what it is about pudge, but it makes us
punitive. In many of these texts
(and in life), fat people are often angry. Perhaps that’s why we are fat. I once read (while at the nail salon, ill-equipped to
document said source) that fat women often use the fat as a barrier. We are mad at some certain situation,
so we stack up brick after brick of fat to defend ourselves against people
hurting us. It's like the song "She's a Brick House," but way less groovy. If we get dumped, for
example, we like to think it’s because we are fat. If we LOSE the weight, then we are forced to face the uglier
facts—like perhaps we got dumped because we have deeper issues (needy, greedy,
or just plain seedy). In other
words, if it’s people who have hurt us, then building up a layer of fat
protects against why they may have done that.
Anyhow, after analyzing some of the texts, I’ve been forced
to search down deep for how, when, and why this may have occurred with me—this
need to retaliate with my rotundness.
For me, this was living in Elba, Alabama—what a hell-hole. The girls are mean and their moms are
even meaner. It doesn’t help when
your dad is the preacher and you can’t really say too much to defend yourself
against their insane antics.
I could honestly write a whole book about one particular round-faced
teacher I had there, if I didn’t think I’d get slapped with a lawsuit. Luckily, there were also quite a few
people there who were as loving and sweet as the others were mean, but I still
don’t think I ever exited Elba unscathed.
An interesting lesson I’ve gained from watching the shows
and reading the books I mentioned earlier is this: by building these walls, we only punish ourselves. Fat doesn't protect us; even if it does, it is a lousy protection.
So, a small goal that I feel will be worth working towards
is focusing on what I do well, what I can offer others (and there IS so
much), and in the process I hope to tear down a few walls (i.e. pounds) that I've put up over the years.
My challenge to each and every reader (blobs and thin
beauties alike) is to stop. Stop
degrading yourself by doing things that are degrading. Challenge yourself to love yourself;
because until we all learn to do that, it is nearly impossible to love others
and for them to love us back.
