She's a Brick House?

It has come to my attention that my blog has really attracted some new readers.  To my new “fans,” Welcome.  From my little bitty wee friends who never consume more calories than they can easily run off on the treadmill to my amorphous blob-like buds, Welcome.  I fall in the latter group and thus relate more to them, but certainly, all are welcome to read.

For the skinny folk, I hope you will gain enlightenment as to why we blob-like babes tend to be constantly making excuses OR on a new diet (albeit one that maybe reaches the 20 lb loss point and yo-yos right back in the wrong direction).

For my amorphous blob, enjoy.  We curvier, rounded types should strive to understand one another, right?

The idea for today’s blog comes from my most recent graduate class entitled Directed Independent Study.  (Let’s hope this is a series--unlike poor Foreman-- I’ll stick with, since a grade depends upon it.)  I found a professor benevolent enough to guide me through this task, which is akin to a thesis—for you real smart folk.  I am the sole student.  In this class, I have chosen to investigate a phenomenon I’ve noticed lately:  a surge in obesity narratives in modern texts (like chick-lit, television shows, film, etc.).  Have YOU noticed the same surge I am seeing?  It seems I can barely turn on the tube without a show that wields some poor ole fat girl attempting to transform herself into a shiny, flexing masterpiece.  My favorite among this type is, of course, The Biggest Loser, but honorable mention goes to A&E’s Heavy and The Style Network’s Ruby.  I’ve also begun reading a book entitled Such a Pretty Face by the author Cathy Lamb. 

There will be more to come, but I would like to include some very general observations I’ve made about myself and other corpulent women through analyzing these texts thus far.  I’m not sure where I will go with these in the end, but here is the first observations with which I shall begin:

Rotund Retaliation:

I’m not sure what it is about pudge, but it makes us punitive.  In many of these texts (and in life), fat people are often angry.  Perhaps that’s why we are fat.  I once read (while at the nail salon, ill-equipped to document said source) that fat women often use the fat as a barrier.  We are mad at some certain situation, so we stack up brick after brick of fat to defend ourselves against people hurting us.  It's like the song "She's a Brick House," but way less groovy.  If we get dumped, for example, we like to think it’s because we are fat.  If we LOSE the weight, then we are forced to face the uglier facts—like perhaps we got dumped because we have deeper issues (needy, greedy, or just plain seedy).  In other words, if it’s people who have hurt us, then building up a layer of fat protects against why they may have done that. 

Anyhow, after analyzing some of the texts, I’ve been forced to search down deep for how, when, and why this may have occurred with me—this need to retaliate with my rotundness.  For me, this was living in Elba, Alabama—what a hell-hole.  The girls are mean and their moms are even meaner.  It doesn’t help when your dad is the preacher and you can’t really say too much to defend yourself against their insane antics.   I could honestly write a whole book about one particular round-faced teacher I had there, if I didn’t think I’d get slapped with a lawsuit.  Luckily, there were also quite a few people there who were as loving and sweet as the others were mean, but I still don’t think I ever exited Elba unscathed.

An interesting lesson I’ve gained from watching the shows and reading the books I mentioned earlier is this:  by building these walls, we only punish ourselves.  Fat doesn't protect us; even if it does, it is a lousy protection.

So, a small goal that I feel will be worth working towards is focusing on what I do well, what I can offer others (and there IS so much), and in the process I hope to tear down a few walls (i.e. pounds) that I've put up over the years.  

My challenge to each and every reader (blobs and thin beauties alike) is to stop.  Stop degrading yourself by doing things that are degrading.  Challenge yourself to love yourself; because until we all learn to do that, it is nearly impossible to love others and for them to love us back.